i want you all to know i have found someone that i love and want to spend the rest of my life with
remember kids: love yourself
I don’t know how to cope with this.
I don’t know how to move forward, how to forgive, how to move on.
My instinct, my habit, my everything screams that I should kill myself. That the only way to deal with this is to not deal with it at all. I can’t ignore this like I have everything else. I can’t put it in a neat little box with a bow and store it somewhere in the back of my mind. This is present. This is real. And I don’t have the means to cope with this.
I haven’t felt this way since I was in and out of the hospital, living with my parents. I haven’t been this bad in a very very long time. And I’m afraid of myself. Im lucky for my support system… without that, I don’t know what I’d do. Probably something terrible.
I can’t handle this.